P.S. I can't hear my feet
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
