Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
