I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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