just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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