Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
