You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
