dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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