this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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