Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize