some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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