u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
BRING THE BAGELS
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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