I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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