What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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