if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
