I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
