he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
