I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
