she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
