I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
