I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He has the fingertips of a God
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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