people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
