How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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