I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
