dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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