We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
