addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We had to coat check the pizza.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
