508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
