I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
two words...techno handjob
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
