you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
