By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
