I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
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