I need help removing her.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my poor anus
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
