i need an iv and a liver transplant
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
