So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
