Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
