I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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