this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
