So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
