Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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