so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
