The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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