I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
