tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
