I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
