He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you guys were way drunker than both of me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize