you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I am one with the molecules
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
