Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
