boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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