Non-Jews are for practice
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
