I can tuck mytits in my pants
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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