I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
