Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
