so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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