I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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