I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
