What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
ugly people sure do ruin things
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize