Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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