Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
