very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
